On Starting Over, and Forgiveness

Sometimes embracing change is a hard thing to do and honestly the most of us don’t embrace it so openly. In fact, most people fall into some sort of routine in which they find comfortability and in this respect, we find it easy to stay the same way for a long time. For me, growing up with parents who more or less provided everything we needed, growing into adulthood was a little easier than it should have been, at least in my perspective, and thus, I fell into a routine after dropping out of Real Estate Classes at the local community college and a failed relationship, at my parent’s house where I was pretty much just lounging doing nothing at all. Eventually, I started to feel the pressure from my parents about having to do something anything, but at that time I wasn’t really into anything in particular. After a while my parents got a divorce and each went their own seperate ways.

In this sense, sometimes starting over, isn’t exactly a choice you make, but rather, a circumstance that life throws at you if you will. An example of this would be like suffering some type of automobile or motorcycle accident. Surviving something so physically deterring like that can really cause a person a lot of physical and emotional damage. Like many other spontaneous or possible sudden changes in your life an accident can not only put your entire life on hold for a moment, butthen, you have to come-to and recooperate yourself back to proper health depending on the gravity of your acciddent. Another example could be a family death. Sometimes the death of a family member can extricate your entire life from it’s roots. For me, a definite new beginning came from having to endure the direct consequences of getting too comfortable at home, adding to the direct stresses of my parent’s already strenuous relationship, and in turn ultimately it lead to their divorce and an upheaval of the place we all called ‘home’.

The direct result from this happening was my becoming homeless. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly ready for having to essentially start the way I was living “over”. If I wanted to do it my way, I’d have to learn a couple things. For one, I’m entitled to do whatever my heart desires, even if it consists of a constant struggle orchestrated in large part by none other than yours truly. Secondly, sometimes life does this to us, and I beleive it to be entirely purposeful. I read a book I found in these little bird shaped houses propped up in random areas around town in which people make a little hand-me-down book house called a ‘Little free library’ (In fact, I found several books on my path to transcending in several different Free Little Libraries) called Radical Forgiveness. This book talked about the specifications of true forgiveness, and the type of forgiveness that usually occurs in toxic relationships and partnerships. It went on to explain that to make a decison to forgive something someone faulted you with, meant to really process the emotion created by this happenstance, address it, forgive it, and put it behind you. It is the only way to truly experience the exoneration of the holds that holding grudges over false-forgiveness can bring. To forgive someone for example for an adultery act, and to decide to renew the relationship and attempt to now try to fortify it and stengthen it, but bring up the infidelity every time an argument is sparked, is an example of not practicing radical forgiveness. So what was radical forgiveness? It meant taking an extremely difficult situation, something that tore your heart from the inside of your chest, figuratively speaking , something you just can’t even begin to put any type of reason to. You simply cannot comprehend it, it makes your heart ache inconsolably. These are the situations in which you might be able to learn radical forgiveness. You’ll know you’ve partaken in it, because the weight of whatever emotions the fault might have caused you, to truthfully forgive it radically means that this golden-ratio-worthy-forgiving-act should signify somewhat of a new beginning of sorts for you, and it should free you from all those ugly emotions caused by what you need to forgive.. Only something so detrimental to your existance, be it physically, or emotionally, could deter you along your journey, where you have to make a choice, that will affect you directly forever onward. In making that choice, you’d have to affirm a new beginning, one in which you simply do not allow obstacles or problems, especially ones you either chose to put behind you, or simply through the passage of time, you have to put behind you, like my living situation in my case, to stop you from pushing forward. Radical forgiveness is the way we move forward in life without all that emotional baggage we like to carry around eveywhere throughout our lives. It’s for when life throws gigantic hurdles that seem inconceivable to the human mind. Like there’s no way in the world you can imagine a particular sequence of events ever happening to you, and upon wondering about it, you don’t know why god would “allow” things to happen to you, but in all reality, incarnation is meant for the individual to face trials and tribulations throughout their lifetimes.However, human beings in today’s day and age, have a strong detachment from their spirits, rendering the average person, unaware of the entirely seperate dance that the souls of the world are doing. Our souls communicate in a language all their own, stemming from vibrational gravitational magnetic energy waves, to aura’s vibing and clashing when encountering eachother, the souls subconsciously add themselves to the paradismical cosmic equation that is “the now” and we bounce off of eachother creating all kinds of different situations and sometimes unprecedented, unfortunate events that are meant to alott you the proper lessons and trials you need to transcend from this physical plane and return to be one with everything that is, again.

Sometimes, new beginnings suck. Sometimes it means having to humble yourself. Having to admit you fucked up. It’s not so bad, growth. Don’t stump yourself, sometimes accepting faults and laughing at yourself about it can help guide you through a rocky new beginning. Trust me, I’m still pretty much homeless, but am having to adapt myself to the struggles of relocating myself somewhere withouth being really prepared for it, and it really humbled me in ways I can’t even begin to explain. Even now today, I’m struggling with radical forgiveness in certian avenues in my life. However, I know that until I decide to truly forgive those that I feel have faulted me, no one bears the heavier cross there other than myself, for beholding a grudge over something someone faulted me with and the related emotions that come from the feeling of hate that holding a grudge could mitigate, but the constant reminder remains until I can find it in my heart, my soul, and my mind, to accept what is for what it is, and whole heartedly renew my outlook on life, allowing me to proceed on, rather than to become static, and stuck in mundane routines that leave me in a rut. New beginnings usually mean change, but to start something anew isn’t so bad especially if things have been bad for a while, or if things have been mediocre or unstable for a long time. To new beginnings, and radical forgiveness. Remember to busy your mind with matters of the mind that matter because its mind over matter, and you bet it matters!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s