Composing the Requiem

            I suppose everyone has a different childhood from the next person, even in between siblings, each can account for a different upbringing. Today, my post is about the importance of individuals in your life. My life, your life, our lives. You are no exception to the spell of the human. They are endearing, they are comforting, they are mean even, but we all love someone. In my life, I found a time when it seemed as if “This must be rock-bottom”. I thought for a second, that it was everybody else, and not me, obviously.

           It did not take me long before I had no choice but to be sitting somewhere, usually alone, looking out but usually finding myself looking in. Truth be told, I didn’t really have anyone else to talk to, or anywhere else to turn to. At least, that’s what it felt like. Then come a time, where I realized it couldn’t be that everyone in my life was the problem. I usually began walking aimlessly, and hoping eventually I’d be tired enough to lay it down anywhere. Instead, I started to talk to myself, wondering, Am I really letting this get to me? Not that it didn’t, Being homeless. It did.

A lot of people are homeless, and I quickly started to realize how different the world is when you become homeless. How differently the people will begin to treat you. How quickly your appearance matches the feeling in your chest. Anyone without the average necessities will begin to wither. I wondered then, why me? Seriously?

It’s as if I had answered myself when the answer came to me, in my own mind, in my own voice,

who else then?

I know that we all spend our lives trying to plan the best future. Trying to make all the money we can make for some safekeeping of stability, something you can hold solid to your sanity, and find peace in it. Does, Scratch that, has anyone achieved this? How would you know if you had successfully planned out the future, have you been there? How much money was enough to help you find peace in the money you had made for safety? Is there ever enough money to guarantee you and your children and your families won’t be starving, ever?

I started to speak to myself more often after this insight.

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